Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize