I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
