Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
