I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
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who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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