My nipple is on Facebook.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I will pee on everything he values.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
