Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
