I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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