do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My ass is underappreciated
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
