we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
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I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
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The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize