I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
