Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
