My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
