hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
