sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
