Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
