Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Randomize
