He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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