Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He shit in the fireplace
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize