My friends, they love my intelligence
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
