im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
