i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
