i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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