I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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