I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Come see our sink grown plant.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
