there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
