:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
