i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
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we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
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They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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