I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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