i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
