I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
