JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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