My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
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I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
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Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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