im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
