Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
