saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
