like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
