Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
