The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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