dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize