that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.