I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high