I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.