She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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