Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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