dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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