fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
