I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
