I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
