yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
