Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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