I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
