He asked to "fluff my boner.."
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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