I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
