Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
