Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize