Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize