If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He better not be in your backpack
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
