I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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