I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize